ON THE BEAT August'08

courtesy Eastern Courier and Howick Police

27-Aug-08

When it comes to perceptions about the level of crime it is often the elderly who have the greatest fear of crime.

Interestingly it is the elderly who are least likely to become victims of crime.

But there are some crimes where the elderly are vulnerable.

Credit card fraud is something they can be susceptible to. The scenario goes something like this.

A thief steals - or perhaps finds - a credit or eftpos card. They then contact the cardholder and pretend to be the bank of the police. The cardholder is asked for their PIN number.

For years, banks and police have been telling people to never give their PIN number to anyone, no matter how insistent the caller might be. Nevertheless, many elderly people do so, and as a consequence they lose all their money.

Never ever give you PIN to anyone.

Elderly people are often sucked into engaging the services of bogus three cutters.

The supposed tree cutter will often pressure them into paying them, often up front, for cutting trees that usually don't need to be cut.

Sometimes the job is performed, often it's not. Sometimes the tree cutter will demand more and more money until the victim has paid out literally hundreds of dollars for a job that wasn't required in the first place.

If you are approached by a tree cutter looking for work our advice is to politely send them on their way - and make a note of their registration number.

The next meeting of the Manukau East Community Safety Network is on Thursday, September 11.

The meeting starts at 12.30pm at All Saints Community Hall, 30 Cook St. issues affecting the elderly will be the main topic for discussion.

All are welcome and there is no cost to attend this meeting.

Remember to look twice for bikes, and visit the local Neighbourhood Support website at www.nsupport.co.nz

Sergeant Keith Olsen, Youth & Comminity Services

22-Aug-08

This column is part of a series on how to help someone who is experiencing abise in a domestic relationship.

Do not expect that your friend or family member will leave the relationship.

It can be very disturbing to know someone you care about is experiencing domestic violence. So it only natural to think: "I want her to leave him", Why doesn't she just leave?" and "How can she still say she loves him?"

Ending any relationship is difficult.

Ending a domestic violence relationship can be extremely difficult.

There are many reasons why it may be hard for her to leave:

She may have been threatened by her partner. He may have told her he will harm her, himself, her family or the children if she leaves him.

She may hope her partner will change and go back to how he behaved at the beginning of the relationship.

She may think the abuse is her fault and if she changes the domestic violence will stop.

She may be committed to the relationship or the belief that marriage is forever.

She may be committed to the belief that the children need to live with both parents.

She may be under pressure from her family or community to stay with her partner.

She may be worried about where she will live and how she will manage financially.

She may be afraid of coping by herself.

For help and further information contact: It's Not OK 0800 456-450 Women's Refuge on 378-1893, Victim Support crisis line 027-497-1956, non-crisis 0800 842- 846, domestic violence drop in centre at Howick Information Centre, Monday to Friday, 10am to 1pm.

Sergeant Brett Woodmass, Domestic Violence Coordinator

13-Aug-08

This column is part of a series on how to help someone who is experiencing abise in a domestic relationship.

When talking to your friend or family member there are some things to avoid as they may lead to her feeling judged or criticised. She could become too afraid or ashamed to talk about the domestic violence.

Avoid blame.

It is likely your friend may be blaming herself for the domestic violence and may even say to you, "It's my fault."

It is important not to agree with her as no one deserves to be abused.

Suggesting she must have done something wrong to provoke the abuse is not supportive. For example do not ask: "What did you do to make him treat you like that?"

Her partner chooses to be violent and maintain power and control in the relationship.

Avoid blaming alcohol, other drugs or mental health issues for his domestic violence behaviour. They do not cause domestic violence.

Many people use alcohol and other drugs and are never abusive to their partners.

Avoid telling her what to do.

When you care about someone and want them to be safe, it is understandable you may want to tell them what to do.

But your friend or family member may have lost some of her self esteem, confidence and decision-making skills due to her partner's controlling and abusive behaviour.

To support her in making a decision, she needs to be able to explore options and make her own choices.

This will help her to gain back her self-confidence. Giving information about domestic violence rather than telling her what to do can support her to make her own choices and decisions.

Avoid talking to the abuser about his behaviour. Confronting the partner about his abusive behaviour may place you and your friend or family member in danger.

Avoid making negative comments about her partner.

If you share any negative comments about the partner, it may lead to her feeling she needs to protect him and stand up for him, strangely enough.

It is supportive to focus on her feelings and safety.

Next week's column will look at what to do if your friend or family member remains in the abusive relationship.

Sergeant Brett Woodmass, Domestic Violence Coordinator

06-Aug-08

This column is part of a series on how to help someone who is experiencing abise in a domestic relationship.

When your friend or family member is ready to talk, it is important to listen to her and take the issue seriously.

Believe what she tells you.

You may be thinking, "Her partner seems like a really great person."

Many people who use abusive behaviour can appear caring and charming but this does not indicate the kind of person they are behind closed doors.

Many are only abusive to their partners.

Focus on how she is feeling and how she is coping with the domestic violence.

For example ask your friend or family member, "How have you been managing? How is his behaviour affecting you?"

Let her know that domestic violence is not her fault.

Tell her that she does not deserve to be abused. Say things like, "The way he is treating you is wrong, its' abuse" or "He may feel angry but he has a choice in how he responds in this situation. He can walk away and go into another room."

Anger is not an excuse for domestic violence.

Focus on her safety and her children's safety.

Let her know you are worried about her and her children's safety. Say things like, "I am really afraid for your safety."

Let her know you are there for her - if this does not put your safety at risk.

Ask her what can I do to help her.

Let her know about the Domestic Violence Drop in Centre situated at the Howick Information Centre, Picton Street , Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm, Its Not OK 0800 456-450, Woman's Refuge 378 1893 and Victim Support crises 027 497 1956 non-crises 0800 842 846. Next week what to avoid when talking to your friend or family member.

Next week's column will look at what to avoid when talking to your friend or family member.

Sergeant Brett Woodmass, Domestic Violence Coordinator